


you are the angel that i couldn't kill

by wwhatthehonkk



Series: the pain of immortality [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:08:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29604339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wwhatthehonkk/pseuds/wwhatthehonkk
Summary: techno and ranboo come across an abandoned monument while exploring the untouched lands of the smp. to their disappointment, there isn't anything valuable to steal from it. however, there's a large chest full of documents all titled 'the files of dream'.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sam | Awesamdude, Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF) & Everyone, Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit
Series: the pain of immortality [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180205
Comments: 11
Kudos: 525





	you are the angel that i couldn't kill

**Author's Note:**

> i still desperately want a dream backstory. his story here is inspired by the show violet evergarden and the song oh ana by mother mother.
> 
> PLEASE READ THE TAGS. THERE ARE MANY PARTS WITH GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE IN THIS FIC. DON'T READ THIS IF IT TRIGGERS YOU.

tommy is at the entrance of pandora's vault, readying himself to visit dream for the first time in half a year. it has been two years since he was thrown in there and he's surprised at how he hasn't attempted to escape yet. sam idly adjusts the gas mask on his face and gives tommy a thumbs up. they're about to start the standard procedure when two pairs of footsteps tap on the obsidian flooring behind him.

he looks back to see techno and ranboo walking towards him. sam lets out a curious noise when they come to a stop in front of them. sam is about to open his mouth to ask a question, but techno gives ranboo a pointed look which stops him. the enderman hybrid places an enderchest down and carries out a large stack of files and papers from it. they all look worn out and old. ranboo huffs as he sets them down onto the floor.

"uh, this ain't the post office, y'know?" tommy tilts his head at them.

techno presses his lips in a thin line. "would you just take a look at the papers? i think they're important," he scoffs.

sam and tommy squat down and take a file each. the younger chokes on his own spit when he reads the titles. there's a stamp of a never seen before insignia on each of the files. they're all titled 'the files of dream' in neat calligraphy. each of them are even numbered. "where did you find these?" sam demands.

techno shrugs. "random building. there was nothing else inside."

"did you read them?" sam asks.

the hybrids shake their heads. "what are we gonna do, sam?" tommy looks at him with wide eyes. "do we ask dream about them? or do we tell the smp first? either way, we have to look inside them, right?"

the warden spends a few seconds in silent thought. he ultimately decides the best option is to not let dream have any knowledge about them first. sam dismisses techno and ranboo. he proceeds to call off tommy's visit that day to announce an emergency meeting instead. he calls upon the original members of the smp to meet at the courthouse using his communicator. he lets tommy join as well.

they are all assembled at the courthouse ten minutes later. the warden is surprised to see george at the meeting. sam presents the documents for them to look at. he explains how they were acquired. sapnap looks at them with confusion. they all agree to take a look inside them to study their contents with sam leading the meeting. he hooks up a redstone machine that lets him display the papers using a projection onto the wall.

he stretches latex gloves over his hands and opens the first file. a colourless picture is printed out on the first sheet of paper. it has been yellowed with time but they can still see the subject of it clearly. a young boy that couldn't be any older than the age of twelve is looking into the camera with lifeless eyes. the nametag on his shirt displays a blurred serial number. the image is captioned '990812, dream'.

there are gasps from the entire room when they notice it. george's breath hitches and sapnap places a hand on his shoulder to steady him. george gives him an appreciative look. sam takes out the next printed sheet. it looks like a report of sorts.

_no. 990812_

_name: unknown_  
_codename: dream_  
_d.o.b: unknown_  
_age: unknown (estimated to be 11)_  
_class: soldier_  
_kills: 46  
years served: 0.2  
status: alive_

_ranks_

_combat: #1  
intellect: #1  
sword: #1  
bow: #1  
axe: #1  
overall rank: #1_

_ description _

_dream was given by the noble sir billiam the third. he was to be a butler for him. however, sir billiam saw him as a threat and thus he was given away to be a soldier. the subject seems to be devoid of any human emotion aside from bloodlust. the higher-ups have given orders to transform him into a formidable weapon. he is not allowed to feel emotion. this has never been a problem since he first arrived. if he ever starts to do so, he shall be put into solitary confinement and be brainwashed._

_he is the youngest to serve in the military force. orders have also been given to not treat him as human so he can 'learn his place' and 'remember what he was born to do'. multiple tests have been run on the subject and results have shown that he is completely healthy. though, the higher-ups refuse to have psychological tests run on him. dream will continue to serve as our best soldier until further notice. he wears a mask during battle to avoid enemy recognition._

_signed by lieutenant colonel jones, district 17  
7th april 894_

there are quiet murmurs when sam finishes reading the last line. it's been more than an entire millenia since then. surely this isn't actually dream, right? sam pulls out more pictures from the file. one of them shows the young boy standing on the stage armed with an axe that looks like it's too big for him. he's holding it up high like he's about to swing it down. there's a grown man kneeling in front of him wearing a terrified expression on his face. dream's face is the same as the first picture; unmoving and emotionless.

the photograph is captioned 'the execution of traitors, executioner: dream'.

another picture shows dream standing in the middle of the battlefield adorning clothes that are clearly too big for him—clothes meant for soldiers, for _grown men._ the same axe with blood dripping from it's curved blade is clutched in his right hand and a nearly broken shield strapped to his left forearm. his signature porcelain mask is buckled at the back of his head with blood splattered all over it. dead bodies and dismembered limbs with blood oozing out of them are littered around him. he doesn't look the slightest bit fazed by them. 'the frontline (12th march 894), dream'.

they're all sure it's dream now. who else has that damned mask and who else wields an axe with that much killing intent?

sam clears his throat and moves on to the next file. the first picture is just like the one in the last file, except dream looks a bit older in this one. he still looks unreal—like he's not human. sam lets out a breath when he presents the report of from this file.

_no. 990812_

_name: unknown_  
_codename: dream_  
_d.o.b: unknown_  
_age: unknown (estimated to be 13)_  
_class: soldier_  
_kills: 832  
years served: 2  
status: alive_

_ranks_

_combat: #1  
intellect: #1  
sword: #1  
bow: #1  
axe: #1  
overall rank: #1_

_ description _

_dream has never uttered a single word on the first year he served. orders have been issued to get him to talk. psychologists have been hired to make him speak. at first, they theorized him to be mute, but the boy is able to speak. he does not talk aside from answering orders. he has the highest kill count out of anyone in the entire force. he has recently been transferred from district 17 to district 2._

_other soldiers have tried to assassinate him out of spite and jealousy since the subject has been shown favouritism by the higher-ups since he has proven time and time again to be our greatest asset. all attempts have been shut down by the subject himself._

_signed by major clark, district 2  
22nd august 896_

everyone in the room lingers at the thought of the kill count. sam can see tommy shifting in discomfort in his seat. he seems to calm down a bit when the warden offers him a reassuring nod. "shouldn't we ask dream himself about the credibility of these documents?" punz questions.

sam hums. "yes, but don't you think it's a good idea to take a look at them first?"

"i guess so..." punz shrugs. "are there any more pictures in this file?"

sam looks through the file and lucky for them, there are a few photographs. the first one he finds looks like it's taken from a security camera. it showcases dream holding a big man with a tight grip in his hair and he looks like he's slamming his head at the edge of a table. the scene looks like it takes place in a cafeteria if the other tables full of soldiers and plates of food are anything to go by. the man dream is assaulting has his face turned away from the camera, but there is clearly blood dripping down his chin and seeping into his shirt and onto the floor. 'cafeteria (4th august 896), dream'

a majority of the people in the courthouse grimace at the sight of the picture. nobody dares to look away, though.

the next photograph is even more disturbing. dream is kneeling in the middle of a dark room lit up by only two torches. his arms are held up with long chains on the sides of the walls. blood is trickling down his naked back out of long horizontal cuts on his skin. there are sections on his back with with dark bruises colouring them. 'punishment - 25 lashes (6th august 896), dream'

sam silently brings out the third file. as expected, the first photograph is dream again. he shows the report on the screen.

_no. 990812_

_name: unknown_  
_codename: dream_  
_d.o.b: unknown_  
_age: unknown (estimated to be 15)_  
_class: ~~soldier~~ weapon_  
_kills: 3091  
years served: 4  
status: alive_

_ranks_

_combat: #1  
intellect: #1  
sword: #1  
bow: #1  
axe: #1  
overall rank: #1_

_ description _

_dream is a robot. he does not act human. the only tell we can go by to call the subject 'human' is when he bleeds. we are reminded of it after battles when he suffers minor injuries. he has never suffered from anything worse than a deep cut in his torso. even then, he had been dispatched to fight when there was a small invasion in the north._

_this long war will be coming to a close soon. the military will no longer have a use for this weapon. the higher-ups are discussing to sell him off to a group of scientists. the matter has been brought up to the subject, but he seems as if he doesn't care._

_signed by general williams, district 2  
12th february 898_

there aren't any additional pictures in this file, but there are more documents. they're various contracts and checks. they realize these papers are the deal to sell dream off. sam feels incredibly uneasy when he reads them. they really don't treat dream like he's human. dream has certainly done unforgivable things to them, but he thinks that the people in these files are completely overdoing it.

the next files have a change in the format of the reports. the insignia on the covers also change.

_no. 990812_

_name: unknown_  
_codename: dream_  
_d.o.b: unknown_  
_age: unknown (estimated to be 16)_  
_class: test subject_  
_bloodtype: a_  
_height: 183cm_  
_weight: 78kg_

_experiment 1.0_

_aim: make the subject indestructible_

the rest of the report provides a detailed explanation of said experiment. they may still have a deep-rooted hatred against dream, but it all sounds too brutal. there was something about electrocuting and at least a dozen different types of chemicals have been injected into dream for this. and judging by the still fairly tall stack in front of sam, they haven't even scratched the surface of these experiments.

they have to take a break after reading the second experiment report. it's too much for them—too cruel. they unanimously decide to skip to the last few files.

_no. 990812_

_name: unknown_  
_codename: dream_  
_d.o.b: unknown_  
_age: unknown (estimated to be 20)_  
_class: test subject_  
_bloodtype: a_  
_height: 190cm_  
_weight: 83kg_

_experiment 27.3_

_aim: cure the subject_

_ results  
_

_experiment: fail_

_subject is now 'immortal'. he does not age and will not be able to die. the subject is still able to get injured, but the wounds heal rapidly. e.g. a two inch deep slice in the skin will heal in half an hour with no medical attention required. however, the subject's newfound abilities will allow him to control the pace of the healing._

_though he will not age, growth in the hair and nails will continue normally. dismembered body parts can either be attached back or a new one will start growing (as stated in experiment 26.5). the process can be completed in less than an hour._

there are two pictures attached to this file. the technology is advanced enough for them to be coloured now. both of them are a collage that shows a comparison. the left side of the first photograph captures a heavily bleeding shoulder. george gulps audibly when he sees the deep crimson gushing out of the intentional wound. the right side of the picture shows the exact same shoulder in a perfectly fine condition. on the back, the words 'two inch cut in shoulder, 30 mins difference' is written.

the second picture is even more gruesome. it's a picture of dream's right hand with its thumb and forefinger chopped off. a completely untouched hand is pictured next to it. 'missing fingers grow back in approx. 40 mins' the caption reads.

a number of the meeting attendees shudder at the gore on the screen. tommy looks off to the side. sam exhales deeply and brings out the next documents. there is no description or experiment jotted down on the paper this time. there are also no pictures given.

_INTERVIEW WITH NO. 990812, DREAM_

_**INTERVIEWER** : good morning_

_**DREAM** : hello_

_**INTERVIEWER** : what is your name?_

_**DREAM** : i'm dream_

_**INTERVIEWER** : do you know where you are?_

_**DREAM** : a lab of sorts, if i have to guess_

_**INTERVIEWER** : do you know why you're here?_

_**DREAM** : to be an obedient little lab rat_

_**INTERVIEWER** : do you know what you are?_

_**DREAM** : definitely not human. they've played enough games with me for me to know as much as that._

_**INTERVIEWER** : can you describe these 'games'?_

_**DREAM** : i am tortured for days on end and given as little food as possible in the mean time. if i do not die, i will be 'rewarded'._

_**INTERVIEWER** : what is the reward?_

_**DREAM** : another day to live_

_**INTERVIEWER** : do you still get these 'rewards'?_

_**DREAM** : no, i've become too powerful for them to restrict my life force. i will never die now. the reward is eternal._

_**INTERVIEWER** : where are you from?_

_**DREAM** : same as anyone; my mother_

_**INTERVIEWER** : can you elaborate?_

_**DREAM** : no, i do not remember much about it_

_**INTERVIEWER** : you served as a soldier before coming here, didn't you?_

_**DREAM** : i was not a soldier. i was a weapon. they told me i wasn't human. i knew i still was back then, but now i know i'm not anymore._

_**INTERVIEWER** : do you miss being human?_

_**DREAM** : i don't know_

_**INTERVIEWER** : do you feel emotion?_

_**DREAM** : contrary to popular belief, yes. though i do not know what it is i feel, it is definitely there._

_**INTERVIEWER** : that is all for now. do you have anything else you want to share with me?_

_**DREAM** : yes. i want to say that i know they are listening and i want them to keep listening. i want them to know that i will outlive all of them and the future will lie in the palm of my own hands. i will play as your god. nothing can stop me for i am eternal._

_**INTERVIEWER** : ... thank you for your time_

a tense aura falls onto the room at dream's last statement. is dream really as invincible as these pieces of paper say he is? or is this all just an elaborate bluff that has been carefully executed to fool them? sam sets the interview aside and reaches for the final file. this one has a huge red stamp over it reading [CLOSED].

"this is the last one," he announces. everyone looks tired and worn out, but they're curious enough to listen intently.

_no. 990812_

_name: unknown_  
_codename: dream_  
_d.o.b: unknown_  
_age: unknown (estimated to be 21)_  
_class: test subject_  
_bloodtype: a_  
_height: 190cm_  
_weight: 85kg_

_this subject has escaped the facility and is now on the run. he is by far the most dangerous being that has roamed the surface of this world. he must be found and hopefully destroyed at all costs. if not, may the lord save us all._

sam exhibits the last picture on screen and while it may not be the most gruesome, it shakes them all to their bones. it's taken from a security camera just like the one of the cafeteria. he's wearing a pair of baggy pants and a straight jacket, but his arms are free. his bare feet leave bloody footprints in his trail as he walks down an eerie corridor. dream has his mask in his left hand, fingers hooking under the strap. his face is undisturbed and calm. the picture is inscribed with 'his escape (12th august 904)'.

words in the colour red are scrawled next to the inscription. 'my everlasting freedom' it reads.

the courthouse stills. nobody dares to move or say anything. a few minutes tick by and sapnap is the one that breaks the silence. "let's just ask dream about this tomorrow."

they all nod in agreement albeit a little hesitantly. "i'll do it. i work there, after all," sam volunteers. tommy shoots him wide eyes full of concern and fear. sam offers him a small smile that says 'i know what i'm doing. don't worry'.

sam takes a few deep breaths. it's time to give dream his food, but today there's another purpose for him to see dream. he shivers when he enters the cell. the prisoner doesn't seem to know that another person has arrived. he does nothing to show it if he does. he's seated on the chest full of empty books with his clock in hand. he has popped the back off and is staring at the turning gears. "dream," sam calls out to gain his attention.

said man tilts his head towards the warden's direction, barely acknowledging him. "ask away," he says, getting off the chest and stretching his arms up. a few bones crack throughout his body like they're finally joined at the correct junction again. "you never speak to me when you come in here. go on: interrogate me."

sam lets out a shaky exhale. "how old are you?"

dream hums. "so, you found those stupid reports, i assume." sam nods. "well, regarding my age, i've forgotten. but, i know i'm old enough to see many of your ancestors wither to death."

"how true are those reports?"

"they're true enough for you all to trust them," the blond supplies. he runs a hand through his short wavy hair. sam helps him trim it every month and forces him to clip his nails while he watches the entire time.

the warden furrows his eyebrows. "how can i trust _you_?"

the prisoner's lips curve upwards in a challenging manner. he walks over to the lava wall and sticks his forefinger in. he shows no sign of pain when he pulls his hand away. "give it twenty minutes. it'll grow back."

sam presses his lips into a thin line. "do you not feel pain?"

"i don't have the luxury to fuss over all the pain i feel," he sighs. "though, it was the first thing i felt that i actually _recognized._ pain along with anguish and despair. it doesn't matter anymore. i can control whatever happens on this land. each era is different and new and i am the one who decides that."

sam clenches his fist. "but, you can't do anything now—you're trapped in here," he taunts.

dream laughs lowly. "you think this can stop me? even if i don't get out of here i will still outlive all of you. what can you do when you're dead? and when all of you are buried six feet underground i'll create a new era with new people. who knows, maybe i'd be feeling good when i do it and i'd let the people be happy and all that jazz."

"is there no remorse in you when you commit all these crimes?"

"take a guess, sam. i've killed thousands of people when i was still human back then; do you think i feel anything about taking more lives now?" the blond retorts. "if you all behave, i might just spend the rest of your lives locked up in here and create a nicer timeline next."

sam locks eyes with dream one last time before exiting the cell. he has to call another meeting soon. but for now, he figures they just need to keep dream in there so no more lives are at stake and the children can be children.

**Author's Note:**

> i rushed the ending can u tell
> 
> i made a twt its @wwhatthehonkk


End file.
